I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
