dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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