Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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