I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
