True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm both gender and math confused
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
