THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
