How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
