yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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