My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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