VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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