just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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