Its about making memories worth repressing
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
