so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
