Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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