Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
