did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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