Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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