you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh god it's open bar.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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