Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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