Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
