I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
