Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
