I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
