Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
