You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
cat food counts as protein by the way
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
