I love how my cats smell like pot.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
