fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
