:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
