Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
