if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
