he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
