I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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