I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My life is pants optional.
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