oh god the rape fog is back!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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