They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
