I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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