oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
