i just had sex bonerless
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
