My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
