Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
