its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It was confusing and full of hummus
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
