If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
