i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
