Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
