By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
