This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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