that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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