my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
