What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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