Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
