I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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