I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
