my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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