I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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