Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
