Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize