i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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