I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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