Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
